St John's

The show moves from harsh realizations to unhinged playfulness, to heavy grief, to wild ecstasy. Recognizing that this range of experience is not generally a part of conventional worship services, I was a bit nervous about how it would be received. I was delighted to find that even a few, who revealed themselves to have been skeptical about such an offering, found this to be an engaging and meaningful worship experience. Not only does this show provide a fresh way of looking at scripture- but it also provides a chance for the congregation to chuckle together, to mourn together, to handle some playful queries and confront some hard questions- together.

I was raised in a Presbyterian church where applause seemed course and inappropriate in a worship setting. Even as a small child I realized that this social construct was a restraint on Spirit, that I was holding something in, and that tension was even more of a distraction to my worship experience.

Usually, before I begin the show, I invite the audience to keep track of what wells up within them and give them permission to respond- to let their responses be a part of the show.  There have been some groups who relish that opportunity (who shout out some Amen’s or sing along with a song) and some who are reticent. And sometimes I begin a show with a group that appears shy and uncertain and find that something loosens, people momentarily forget themselves, Spirit breaks through the civility, and unexpected outcries enter the space. I am doing my best to reveal my humanity, and how God is at work in my grief and in my joy. And for the ways that this show triggers other’s genuine grief and transcendent joy, I am most grateful!

From the onset, my goal was to make a versatile show, that could be shared in a variety of settings. The show has been performed in 20 different venues over the course of two months, and will be performed in 9 more before I take a break and regroup. The venues have ranged from ornate and echoy sanctuaries to bare conference rooms, from black box theaters to elegant contemporary chapels. Each space presents new limitations and new opportunities.  The short ceiling in one becomes a tool to show the limits of growth; the sirens and city noises surrounding another venue help demonstrate the harsh cost of economic growth; the light pouring through a stained glass window supports my awe with the gifts of the sun. The continual adaptation to the space has allowed the show to remain fresh, supporting my own curiosity about what is possible.

Another inconsistency is my relationship to the audience. My proximity to the audience, whether or not I can see their faces, whether or not I know any of the them, the time of day, the closeness of the chairs, all these variables contribute to the energy of that relationship.  Sometimes I have had folks shout out in the show, share a full-bellied laugh, or join a song, and sometimes the group is quiet and I relate to their breathe more than there vocalizations.

The tour has been a whirling adventure. I have been too consumed with the tasks at hand- adapting to new circumstances, forging new relationships- that I have failed to write about this experience. I will try to undo this pattern and focus on providing more frequent updates. This tour is a unique opportunity to relate to the current challenges and giftings of the faith community in relation our cultures dependency on an unsustainable way of life. I am learning more all the time, about institutional hurdles, the role of the arts in our efforts to renew the church, and about the hope that comes through community solidarity. I will continue to write about my adventures and the insights I gain along the way.

And now I am settled in my new setting, acting as artist in residence at Willow Springs through the end of November. This is a beautiful land and I am reconnecting with dear friends who are living out alternatives to the dominant economic system. I am doing a few hours of farming a week in exchange for room and board. Mostly, I will be cleaning and sorting seeds for the Sierra Seep Cooperative, a new project initiated by local farmers to promote local seed varieties. Working with the gifts of the earth is already a quite grounding and meaningful practice to accompany my work on this project.